the nightmare of history

in a year filled with humiliating routs, the stunned columbia football fan finds himself still groping for an appropriate characterization of the horror he witnesses.  this past weekend’s visit to lovely long branch, new jersey provided perhaps the greatest challenge to our imagination of disaster so far, as the lions fell with a 61 – 28 thud to the monmouth hawks.  we’ll go with this – the hawks flattened the lions like isil overrunning the iraqi army in anbar province.  the light blue was down six touchdowns before rallying against denizens from so deep on the hawk bench that monmouth’s coaches had to send in their charges with “hey you, uh . . . 86, get in there, kid.”  the “gocolumbialions” website praised substitute light blue qb trevor mcdonagh for tossing four touchdown passes against that phantom defense.   quick quiz, who was the last lion crouching behind a center to throw for that many scores?  bonus points for knowing the date and the opponent.  so soon you give up ?  why, sean brackett, of course, back on november 10,  2012 against cornell.  that was also the last game won by our shell shocked gridders.  the lion losing streak now stands at 15.

just one rainy saturday ago, your correspondent was searching for a silver lining to the 38 – 6 failure against princeton, thinking that perhaps the lions’ dizzying downward spin had finally been arrested.  had coach pete mangurian  pulled manfully enough on the control stick to edge  the nose of his crippled sopwith camel up and  out of gravity’s murderous grip?  the game had been tight for a half and the lions even crafted their first lead of this terrible  season, maintaining a 6 – 3 edge for much of the second quarter.  the tigers, however,  pushed across a td as time expired on the half and the columbia defense – so staunch for thirty minutes – declined to take the field for the third period.  reality reasserted itself and the tigers trampled the wien stadium turf, and any lions upright upon it, flat, putting  four unanswered touchdowns on the board.  paulie b was left shaking his head, savoring the few solid tackles, the couple of recovered fumbles and the two nifty shovel passes for first downs that comprised his pleasure during that damp yom kippur afternoon.

the monmouth massacre owed much to brett nottingham’s woeful play.  the stanford transfer, injured and sidelined for the season in his very first appearance as a lion in 2013,  had diligently rehabbed, been named a team captain, and started the first four games of the year.  nottingham has been courageously staunch, but far from brilliant.  he is not surrounded by terrific receivers and has compounded this problem by frequently missing them when they do manage to break free.  when he threw interceptions on three consecutive series versus the hawks, coach mangurian had seen enough and gave messr mcdonagh, who appeared in many of last season’s ten losses,  the responsibilty of bringing the lions back from love – 40.

the four touchdowns mcdonagh tossed were offset by an additional three  monmouth tallies, so not all that much was gained by the substitution and, unless nottingham was injured before being lifted, we expect him back at the helm this coming saturday when the lions battle the quakers in philadelphia.  penn has been as woeful as columbia this season, falling to fordham last saturday by 60 -22.  besides that debacle and a couple of other ass whippings they have endured, the quakers are 0 -2 in ivy play and, consequently, actually below the lions in league standings.  i wonder what intern in vegas gets to handicap this one?

though we decry the vulgar monetization of amateur athletics, allgame wonders if there might be an opportunity here?  a year ago, the light blue played the philadelphians tough before falling 21 -7 at home.  might they actually steal one on the road and end mangurian’s miserable streak?  penn coach al bagnoli, arguably the best ivy coach ever and inarguably the winningest, brings his blue and maroon clad crew back to the banks of the schuykill after the aforementioned humiliation in the bronx.  will he have them hungry for a measure of redemption and ready to  claim a lion pelt?  based on the quakers home field advantage and the lions 49 – 7 loss to fordham, i figure penn to be a 6 point favorite.  whatever the line, we look for nottingham to rebound from being yanked to have his best game to date and for the lions to shake some fumbles loose.  allgame, always loath to encourage foolish speculation, says take the points and watch for the lions to win ugly.

it will be an outcome devoutly wished.  the quakers have tamed columbia seventeen straight times.   the last time columbia did conquer the pennsylvanians, though,  it was at franklin field.  fondly i remember standing beside my sons in the stadium’s highest reaches, all of us bellowing joy as an exhausted, triumphant, marcellus wiley savored a 20 – 19 overtime victory and  raised his helmet toward our cries.  that 1996 lion squad went a memorable 8 -2.  that is impossible this season, but a victory in philly?  we live in hope.

peace out, d up,

paulie b