this heart

as a ravening predator loosed on a zebra rich savannah, allgame returns hungrily to the prospect of a new season of columbia men’s basketball. our appetite inflamed further by sad remembrance of deep, persistent famine, we ask your indulgence as we quickly recollect the most recent history of the light blue five. the pandemic erased the 2019 – 2020 ivy league conference tournament. not that the lions would have had a place at that table. they had just concluded an unremittingly lousy league campaign. lord save them, our heroes fashioned a 6 – 24 overall record including a humiliatingly gruesome 1 – 13 mark in the ivies. worse than the record, despite that seeming impossibility, was the method of their misery. one need but recall the final disastrous six weeks. they lost to brown by six at levien on february 21 and by eight to harvard a week later at the same venue in the only two vaguely competitive outings during that gruesome bataan death march of ineptitude. their other four losses were by 18 to yale, 19 to (my god!) dartmouth, and then 23 to princeton and 20 to penn on the last, forlorn weekend. so awful were our heroes that they finished a full three games behind next worst cornell. paulie b could not rinse his palate of that putrid taste fast enough, but the league decided to cancel not only the impending tourney but the entire sports schedule for the 2020 – 2021 academic year. finally, on tuesday, november 9 – fully twenty months since last we gamboled – allgame, its readers and, more importantly, coach engles and the lions in his charge will have the opportunity to begin decontaminating all our minds of those disgusting failures.

our preoccupation with the ivies, if understandable, is premature. the lions begin their hunt for respectability with a 13 game non-conference foray. virtually every athlete engaged in this process is unknown to us as coach engles returns to the hardwood with two seasons worth of new ballers. although names like emmanuel onuama, asa shannon, eddie turner iii, and cameron shockley-okeke ring faint bells, what the quality, we ask, of a jaden cooper, a zavian maclean or a liam murphy? only ike nweke returns from the aforementioned nightmare season with any significant or productive time under his belt. maka ellis flashed hints of scoring talent before injury sidelined him after a mere six games. these two seniors will have to mix with a cast of first years blended with mostly untested sophomores and juniors. indeed, patrick harding, the 6′ 9″ junior transfer from bryant is the only new member of the roster with any collegiate statistical record. we witness the first scenes of a mystery this coming tuesday.

early that evening, the lions’ bus travels some ninety blocks north before making a right turn onto 207th street, heading east three or four blocks in manhattan where it will cross the harlem river and then bounce along fordham road for a couple of miles. that short route will land our heroes at the campus of fordham university wherein lies rose hill gymnasium. the nerdy sports historian in allgame looks forward to entering this venerable temple of fast breaks. the landmarked edifice was raised when the sainted james naismith still walked the earth in search of peach baskets. since 1925, it has been home to the fordham rams hoopsters and is at present the oldest on campus arena in our land. the current denizens hardly buff the patina of this historic site to a higher gloss. indeed in 2020-21, the rams were lion like in their futility, amassing a 2 – 12 record during a covid shortened season. the three most productive returnees from that ill-fated club are guards jalen cobb and josh navarro who provided 7.2 and 6.6 points per game respectively. their most competent returning big man is chuba chams who grabbed 6 rebounds while talling 6 points nightly. although they add a 6’10” first year center, rostyslav novitskyi from ukraine, they are not a particularly long squad. we expect the lions to outrebound their hosts as well as outpoint them in a low scoring game for their first win in forever.

we don’t think the light blue will have a long time to bask in that victorious glow. on friday, the twelfth, they play host to a competent marist team. the red foxes went 10 – 8 last season and return their top three scorers in ricardo wright (11.4 ppg), raheim sullivan (9.7 ppg) and jordan jones (9.4 ppg). another six players from that team return as well so that coach john dunne has fully 85% of his offense back on hand and a similarly heady 84% of his rebounding strength – 29 boards nightly – available. the red foxes, a successful veteran team looking to build on their previous season should be ready to stop the lions, and we expect columbia’s first home game of the new season will be a loss. they shouldn’t be downcast too long, though, as they entertain the visiting suny binghamton bearcats, 4 – 14 last season, on the following wednesday. take the lions regardless of the point spread in that one. on the third saturday of november, the light blue hosts the curiously nicknamed dolphins of mount saint vincent. the div iii squad from riverdale is undersized and though they can shoot the ball decently should be the third victory for columbia in 2021. allgame generally dismisses wins over div iii opponents as beneath the dignity of our beloved program. given that disastrous 2019 – 20 season, however, we’ll take what we can get. our heroes end their pre-thanksgiving labors in greater bethlehem, pennsylvania on the lehigh campus. paulie b looks forward to revisiting the mountain hawks’ stabler arena. although the patriot leaguers are coming off a 4 – 11 campaign, they do return their leading scorer, messr marques wilson who contributed 15.3 points nightly, their second best scorer nic lynch who averaged 12.1 ppg (and stands 6’11”) as well as 6’6″ junior guard evan taylor who added a third best 8.7 points to the attack and a team leading 7.3 rebounds per game. that combination should provide lehigh with the decisive edge in the battle.

our two paragraph survey delivers the lion five to their thanksgiving tables boasting a 3 – 2 record. that is gaudy stuff for a program so grievously challenged and brutally defeated when last seen. guided by the principle “leave ’em laughing” we shall finish our preseason guesstimation of the boys’ chances and remind our readers of our editorial pledge and goal – all game, no gossip. the mere speculations even of so august an editor as ourself remain anathema to our greater purpose. indeed, we consider ignorant forecast about sporting events diabolical in their nature and despicable in their consequence. that said, we look forward to our speedy return to this page with facts about the state of our beloved five and the results of their early contests.

peace out, d up

the editor